


The Removal of Blaine’s Wisdom Teeth and Kurt’s Sanity

by InsightfulInsomniac



Category: Glee
Genre: Fluff, Future Fic, Humor, M/M, WHAT A TIME, and then poor kurt, because Blaine on the drugs?, married!klaine, poor Blaine is suffering
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-19
Updated: 2019-07-19
Packaged: 2020-07-08 10:01:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,165
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19867744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InsightfulInsomniac/pseuds/InsightfulInsomniac
Summary: Blaine has been avoiding getting his wisdom teeth removed for years, but the time has finally come, and Kurt’s here to walk him through the ups and downs of it all.A fic of nervous Blaine, fluffy Klaine, and a very loopy, drugged Blaine at the end.





	The Removal of Blaine’s Wisdom Teeth and Kurt’s Sanity

**Author's Note:**

> When I got my wisdom teeth out (I only had three), I was one of the few random people to not become loopy after the surgery. I somewhat wish that I had that experience, but most of me is glad I didn’t say things that I might have said.
> 
> (When my dad was a teen and got his out, he tried to hit on his nurse and then attempted to stand up immediately, effectively falling to the floor in front of her.)
> 
> Anyway, enjoy!

“No matter how many times you say that, it’s not going to make it happen.”

Kurt sighs, shutting the door to their apartment behind him as Blaine strides ahead, already pacing around the living room while clutching the documents he was just given at the dentist’s office.

“Honey, you have to get them taken out,” Kurt reasons for the tenth time since the appointment. “You even said they’ve been bothering you lately, and the dentist said you’re well past the time you should’ve gotten them out.”

Blaine huffs, throwing his paper-filled hands in the air. “If I’ve already dealt with them for years, I’ll deal with them for more!”

“The dentist said they could do permanent damage to the structure of the rest of your teeth, Blaine. The appointment is set for three weeks from now, and you’re not calling to cancel,” Kurt repeats himself, feeling more and more like he’s talking to a petulant child rather than his husband.

“I don’t want to have my wisdom teeth removed,” Blaine groans dejectedly, dropping onto the couch in defeat. “It’s IV anesthesia, Kurt! I hate needles.”

“I know you do,” he replies, sitting down in a chair across from his increasingly panicked husband. Blaine isn’t going to calm down unless they have a good conversation to help quell his fears about it first.

“And how come I have four? You literally have none.”

Kurt can’t help but secretly feel slightly pleased at the fact that he came out unscathed when he was routinely checked as a teen. Though it wasn’t much of a surprise to him; his mom had no wisdom teeth, and his dad only had two.

“Babe. The procedure is incredibly routine, and it’ll be done before you know it. I’ll be waiting right outside the room for you the whole time.”

Blaine sighs, resting his head in his hands. “I don’t know why I’m so worried about this. I had surgery on my eye, for crying out loud.”

“Well, maybe it’s because you were a little more concerned for the consequences of not operating on your eye than you are for your wisdom teeth,” Kurt offers. “And they put you under via inhalation, not IV.”

Blaine shudders. “I can’t get past the needles.”

“It’ll be over before you know it. The dentist said that it will feel like you just took a really nice nap.”

Blaine finally cracks a smile. “You’d better film my post-surgery drug-talk. I’d be upset to go through the whole ordeal without at least getting a funny video out of it.”

“Deal,” Kurt grins. “I promise to be your personal videographer and caretaker throughout your recovery.”

Maybe that wasn’t the best choice of words, because Blaine immediately blanches, launching into another worried ramble.

“Oh my god, I didn’t even think about the recovery! What, no real solid foods for at least three days?” He immediately starts flipping through the recovery pamphlet that the dentist’s office provided him.

“I’ll make your mom’s mashed potatoes,” Kurt suggests. “And you can drink tons of slushees.”

Kurt knows all about Blaine’s weakness for slushees, playing that card carefully. However, it doesn’t stop his husband’s frantic diatribe.

“I’m going to be so swollen, oh my god. I’m not going to be able to speak, let alone sing!”

“Well, that’s why you’re getting the procedure done during the summer. You’ll be good as new to go back to school,” Kurt’s about to move to sit next to Blaine on the couch and offer him some physical comfort when his husband gasps again, reading the pamphlet with wide eyes.

“No oral sex until the stitches fully dissolve...” Blaine scans the pamphlet rapidly. “And that can take over two weeks! This is madness!”

Kurt barely stifles a laugh at the sheer offense that Blaine takes at this restriction, especially considering that it doesn’t really affect him. “I think I can survive, B.”

“Kurt, I can’t go through with this!” Blaine cries. “There’s too much at stake!”

Sighing again, Kurt stands from his chair, crossing the room to press a kiss to the top of Blaine’s head. “I’m going to go make dinner. Why don’t you take a break and try to get your mind off of things, and if you need to, we can revisit this conversation later tonight.”

Blaine nods. “Okay. Thank you.”

Kurt hums as Blaine pulls him back down to kiss him soundly on the lips.

“No apologies. It’s okay to be a little scared. I’d rather you tell me than bottle it up.”

“Need some help with dinner?” Blaine offers sheepishly, and if that’s the way to keep him distracted from the impending surgery for the time being, then so be it.

“Sure. I was thinking something with chicken,” Kurt replies, heading in the direction of the kitchen.

“Considering that I won’t be able to eat it in three weeks, that sounds great,” Blaine quips, earning another long-suffering sigh from his husband.

******

Somehow, some way, both Kurt and Blaine managed to survive the next three weeks with minimal bribing and only a few more nervous outbursts.

Blaine, to his credit, panicked all the way to the oral surgeon’s office, but as soon as they walked through the doors to the building, he plastered on his most confident, resolved look and bolstered on. Only Kurt could really tell that the fear was still getting to him.

“Mr. Anderson-Hummel?” Kurt looks up from his magazine at the nurse. “We’re ready for you to come back. He’s awake.”

“Did everything go well?” Kurt asks, following her back to Blaine’s room.

“Everything went perfectly,” the nurse replies with a smile. “He’s going to be a little out of it for a bit, but that will wear off with time.”

“I’ve come with instructions to film him if he acts strangely,” Kurt chuckles. “I hope that’s alright”

The nurse laughs. “Of course. Most of our patients have similar situations surrounding wisdom tooth removal.”

They reach Blaine’s recovery room, and she leads Kurt inside with a knock on the door. “Blaine? Your husband’s here.”

“Hey, honey,” Kurt greets, pulling out his phone to film, and Blaine rolls his head to the side to face him, grinning goofily. “How are you feeling?”

“Muuuuch better now that you’re here,” Blaine replies, slurring his words together slightly. “God, you know, did I ever tell you...” Blaine pauses, trying to focus his train of thought. “You’re an angel, Kurt.”

Kurt laughs. “An angel?”

“Yes,” Blaine nods his head definitively. “You walk around just glowing, because you’re so pretty, Kurt, you sparkle.”

“Like a vampire?”

“No, no,” Blaine shakes his head, completely serious. “No. You’re just so perfect. You know? I’m so lucky. Sooooooo lucky.”

“I’m so lucky too,” Kurt grins, and Blaine attempts to wave his hand in Kurt’s direction.

“Yeah, yeah. You just have to say that ‘cause we’re married,” Blaine smiles widely at that, swollen and padded by the cotton filling his mouth. “Wait.”

Blaine suddenly looks to his left hand, noticing the absence of his wedding ring. For the surgery, wearing jewelry was prohibited, and Blaine nearly went into the operating room with his ring on until he noticed last minute, having Kurt slip it into his pocket in the waiting room.

“Where’s my wedding ring?” Blaine cries, frantically patting himself down. “I don’t want to be un-married!”

“Blaine, I have it,” Kurt chuckles, fishing it out of his pocket. Blaine sighs dramatically, holding his hand out to Kurt.

“Can you put it on me?” He pouts. “Just like at our wedding.”

“Of course,” Kurt obliges his quite-drugged husband, slipping the ring onto his finger. “Good as new.”

“I was so scared of getting un-married, Kurt,” Blaine confides, eyes wide. “Being un-married would be the worst. I don’t think I could survive without you!”

“Honey, just because your ring comes off doesn’t mean you’re not married,” Kurt explains with an amused grin. “The rings just symbolize our marriage.”

“Well, without it, I don’t have a symbol,” Blaine retorts, then gasps suddenly. “Maybe I should get a tattoo! On my face! And it’ll say ‘I am married to Kurt Hummel,’ and then everyone will always know we’re married!”

Kurt takes his hand gently in his. “While the thought is sweet, I don’t know if that’s such a good idea, babe.”

“It’s a great idea. I want to go get it done right after this!”

There’s another knock on the door, and Blaine’s surgeon, Dr. Turner, walks in.

“Hi Kurt, how are you?” She asks, pausing her rifling through paperwork.

“I’m doing great, Dr. Turner, thanks.”

“Good to hear. And Blaine, how are you feeling?”

He grins. “Fabulous, Dr. Turner! Thank you for being such a good doctor and not letting me die.”

Kurt has to resist the urge to facepalm, and Dr. Turner just barely stifles a laugh. “Of course, Blaine. I’m just here to tell you that you’re free to go when you feel ready, and that Kurt has all of your recovery information. Okay?”

He nods. “Sounds good, doc! I think I’m ready to leave now, Kurt —“ Blaine moves to stand up from the bed, but Kurt immediately lays a hand on his arm.

“Why don’t we wait a little bit longer, Blaine,” Kurt suggests, and Blaine lays right back down, obviously dizzy.

“Yeah, yeah, okay.”

Dr. Turner smiles. “If you have any more questions, you know where to find me. Your follow-up appointment is already set, so feel free to leave whenever you feel able to.”

“Thank you, Dr. Turner,” Kurt replies, and she shuts the door behind her as she exits the room.

“Now that she left us alone,” Blaine waggles his eyebrows to the best of his current ability, lifting his hand and letting it land unceremoniously in Kurt’s lap.

“B, this is a doctor’s office,” Kurt admonishes, unable to keep the humor out of his voice as he gently moves Blaine’s heavy hand back onto the bed. “And you are in no condition to do such a thing.”

“‘M fiiiiiiine,” Blaine responds, attempting to purse his lips around his gauze-filled mouth. “Kiss me. Kurt, kiss me.”

Kurt takes one look at Blaine’s swollen, bloody mouth and turns his attention to his forehead instead, brushing his lips to the skin there. “Honey, I will happily kiss you once you’ve stopped bleeding. And drooling.”

Blaine just seems to notice the obscene amount of saliva that’s been steadily dripping out of his mouth. “Oh. That is a lot of spit.”

Kurt chuckles, standing to help Blaine sit up. “Come on, think you can walk? You can lean on me.”

“Yeah, my legs don’t feel like jello anymore,” Blaine comments, supporting himself against Kurt as he stands. “I think maybe I can walk by myself.”

“How about I still hold your hand?” Kurt offers, and Blaine accepts happily, letting himself be led out of the doctor’s office.

When they arrive home, Kurt immediately sets Blaine up on the couch with two bags of frozen peas. “Feeling okay, babe?”

Blaine nods. “Can you play some music? I really want to listen to ‘Party in the USA.’”

Kurt shakes his head amusedly, but turns on the song nonetheless. His husband immediately begins singing along, mouth muffled by the gauze.

“Hopped off the plane at LAX with a dream in my cardigan...” Blaine trails off after only one verse, not noticing that Kurt has begun to film him again.

He apparently forgets how to sing the next few verses, mumbling a slightly similar tune through the cotton. When the chorus begins, however, Blaine’s face lights up with recognition.

“SO I PUT MY HANDS UP, THEY’RE PLAYING MY SONG —“

Blaine throws his hands in the air from his position on the couch, practically screaming the words to the song.

“— AND THE BUTTERFLIES FLY AWAY! NODDING MY HEAD LIKE YEAH, MOVING MY HIPS LIKE YEAH,” Blaine attempts to swivel his hips while laying flat on the couch, a motion that barely looks like anything more than a really sad pelvic thrust.

Blaine finishes out the chorus, then slumps back into the pillows. “I’m tired. I think I need a nap.”

Kurt chuckles, stopping the recording on his phone. “Okay, B. I’ll turn off the music and wake you when you need to change your gauze in an hour.”

“Wait! Don’t turn off the music,” Blaine calls. “I want to fall asleep to that song. Can you put it on repeat?”

Kurt sighs, turning the volume down but leaving the song on repeat. “All set.”

“Thank you, you’re the love of my life, thank youuuuu,” Blaine croons drowsily. “Kurt Elizabeth Hummel — no, Kurt Elizabeth Anderson-Hummel.”

“No problem, honey,” Kurt laughs. “You’re the love of my life too.”

“Let’s get matching face tattoos,” Blaine mumbles, drifting off into sleep. “Power couple goals.”

“Let’s talk about that more when you’re not on prescription painkillers, okay?”

“‘Kay. I’m gonna sleep now.”

Kurt grins, laying a blanket over his chipmunk-cheeked husband. “Okay. I’ll be here when you wake up.”

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed that fic! I had fun with it!
> 
> So, because it’s already written, how about a little preview of my next fic?
> 
> TO BE RELEASED ON SUNDAY: Sawyer and Dalton’s origin story (how they got together)! 
> 
> I am beyond excited to share that story with you on Sunday! I just finished writing it before I posted this fic, and I am honestly in love with it and with them, and I hope you will love it as much as I do! So stay tuned!
> 
> Find me on tumblr @zigxzag-klaine


End file.
